Journal

a diary kind of thing, random thoughts, random shit i wanna talk abt

June 24, 2020; 11:38 PM

I've never been able to keep a journal or diary before, usually
I just give up or forget to write. Most of the time it's because i don't have anything to write in it.
My days are usually boring, especially now in quarantine. Despite living in the city that supposedly
'never sleeps, my daily life is generally monotonous and boring. Even pre-quarantine. Wake up, go to
school, go home or go to clubs. Honestly, one of my goals for 2020 was to go out more, explore the
city more, but I guess that's impossible now. Quarantine has been a nightmare for me. I've had so
many depressive episodes where i felt so empty and pointless, and times where i just cried for the
entire day. Classes being online felt like they were far away, i had zero motivation to do anything.
There was no 'but then something changed' moment for me, school thankfully ended and i managed to
bullshit some assignments to barely pass my classes. i'm still as equally unmotivated to do anything,
I've been waking up late, around 2 PM since quarantine started. The days feel so short and I've been spending
them by binging Criminal Minds on Netflix. But all the murder and dead people has been putting me in a weird mood.
I want to watched other things but at the same time i don't want to. Even if I do decide to wake up earlier, I
wouldn't know what to do. i've been trying to draw, but obviously i've been way too unmotivated to draw
anything i'm satisfied with. This first entry has been just a rant, but that's cool i guess.
Maybe i'll continue this and talk more about other random things about myself.

-Ying
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.

June 25,2020; 9:43 PM

Helloo, not sure how to start these entries. I spent most of today working on this website thing,
it's really fun. I'm hoping to make things look prettier and more fun. The weather today was really
nice, I was outside in the backyard swinging in the hammock while chatting on discord. My mom and I
went to my dad's place to pick some things up and medicine from the pharmacy. I went out with my twin
sibling to buy tea drinks at Mud Flow, they got Hokkaido milk tea and I got jasmine milk tea; I also
bought lychee yakult tea for my brother. Things were pretty good today, I really liked my outfit, my
sibling said I looked like a cartoon character lol. I've made a lot of small changes to the home page,
I really like how it's looking so far. Last night (or really early morning), I had a ton of motivation
to draw, which is a good thing. The problem is that my phone runs out of battery too quickly and takes
too long to charge :( but I'm too used to this phone to change. I'll probably get a head start on my summer
work tomorrow, just so that I have more free-time later on. My friend sent an image of the Delta Math we're
required to do and it was a lot. Definitely not looking forward to it. My mom said that school probably wouldn't
open when September comes around but I'm hoping they do. Junior year is when you take classes for your major and
I really want to attend those classes in person (my major is bio-science). My guess is that they're probably opening
school for certain days and online classes on others, that is if the pandemic gets better. They sent out a survey
a while back but I'm not sure if they actually take any input. I think I like writing these entries,I'll probably
continue this, most likely not everyday though.

-Ying
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